Tag Archives: Women

Cranky Cat vs. Dicks on TV

Cranky Cat is Marple’s cat and she thinks that most things are stupid. She glared at us untill we let her have her own post, where she glares and rolls her eyes at things that she finds exceptionally stupid. The nice thing about cranky cat is that she doesn’t have to go into details to justify why she’s pissed off, because she’s just a cat on the internet.

Cranky Cat rolls her eyes at the self-pitying men who made the Dodge commercial that aired during the Superbowl, although it has a brilliant reply.

Cranky Cat also lets out an exasperated sigh because of Manswers.

What is going on? How do commercials like the one for Dodge get on the air? Who let that one go through without saying “Hey wait a minute, maybe this will alienate and condescend AN ENTIRE GENDER”. There cannot be an entire chain of command consisting only of men, there must have been some women involved in this decision. Maybe the didn’t find it offensive, maybe they did but realized that the ad would gather a lot of steam off of angry women of teh internets. Is that ok? Is it a betrayal? I don’t know, mainly because I’m one of the angry women cats.

There are just too many dicks on TV (and sometimes, on the dancefloor).

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Mariah.

OH MARIAH! You amuse me. I loved you so much when I was in the third grade, I really did. And I would be lying if I said that one of my favorite moments of all time was when my girlfriends and I all broke out into a BEAUTIFUL rendition of “Without You” over a box of wine. This is my tribute to you, because it’s Saturday and I feel like this weekend I will channel your spirit. So I’ll probably force Marple to drink lots of fake champagne and run on a treadmill in high heels with me.

  • Your album covers are individual works of art, these are my top 5:

  • Lyrics are always important, and while Britney is still the master rhymer (stutter/butter – brilliant), your lyrics are also little gems of joy

“Oh baby I’ve got a dependency
Always strung out for another taste of your honey”

“Lucius delight
When you’re immersed in my ocean of love
Coming on strong
Baby I’ve been waiting so long
Revel inside my paradise”

“I didn’t mean to turn you on
Oh I didn’t mean to turn you on”

“Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex,
Seein’ right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex”

  • SCANDALS! You know them well and share them with the world because you are a true entertainer.

Just appearing in Glitter should count, if you’ve seen it you know why. Then the sexual revolution after you got rid of your controlling husband, Mr. Mottola. You did it before Britney, Christina and Miley (just wait, it’s going to spin out of control). All of your clothing choices speak for themselves. The breakdowns, the fall. And then the return! The new and younger husband, Mr. Nick Cannon that you married ALL OF A SUDDEN! Take the world by storm, cougar lady. And now picking fights with Eminem and going ugly face in Precious. I tip my sparkly hat to you.

  • Finally, your music videos. The outfits. The situations. The supporting characters. The shoes. THE HAIR.

&

Heartbreaker

Obsessed

Up Out My Face

Honey

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My role models would take out restraining orders on me if they weren’t fictional

I love TV. I love a lot of things, but TV is pretty high up on my love list. So it’s no surprise that I have been so influenced by certain characters. Do I take it too far? Perhaps. But everybody needs role models, and mine may be fictional but at least they don’t include Paris Hilton.



Oh Clarissa! I can’t decide if I drew more inspiration from your outfits, your attitude or your scrunchies. Well ok, if I’m going to be perfectly honest here, I was a huge scrunchie wearer. I had a million. I particularly miss the rainbow colored one…*sigh*.



No one was more upset than I was when they cancelled this show. I mean. The cliffhanger? What the hell. How could you? I…I am going to interrupt myself here because trust me, I can go on all damn day. I think I love Veronica so much because I could relate to her so much. Not the girl detective part (I’m a horrible detective), but the outcast without actually being an outcast because you do have friends but you hate those stupid cheerleaders anyway with their flippy hair. Yes, I know, boo hoo. Thankfully, high school ends and life goes on. But I wish that I could have had V Mars’ devil-may-care attitude and been much less sulky.



Although Liz is a bit older than I am right now, I still really really really want to be her. Not wear her skin as a suit be her (not yet, at least) but get to the place where she is. A place where you do what you love (it’s merely coincidental that I want her job) and yes, you are stressed to the point of scalp pain but you aren’t stuck in a dead-end job with equally high stress levels. Is that too much to ask for? Maybe, but not too much to demand.

On a final note, if I were animated, I would want to be Dr.Girlfriend from The Venture Bros. She really is in charge.

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