Category Archives: Marple

Drinking Game: Gossip Girl Edition

We decided to combine our love for wine (which is endless) with our love for Gossip Girl (which is Chucktastic) and turn the wine + GG experience into a drinking game for one of the rare occasions when rules and alcohol do mix.

  • Drink when Blair leaves the room in a huff.
  • Drink when Dan thinks he’s better than everyone else.
  • Drink when Little J is being whiney and ungrateful.
  • Drink when Nate changes his facial expression.
  • Drink when anybody is behaving inappropriately.
  • Drink when Serena’s skirt is too short/top is too low (drink twice if she is at a family event).
  • Drink when Rufus is wearing a plaid/denim shirt.
  • Drink when Eric’s homosexuality is randomly brought up/used as a plot device.
  • Drink when Dan name drops.
  • Drink twice when Serena surprises you with how modest her outfit is.
  • Drink when Serena wears a catsuit.
  • Drink when you’re not quite sure how Little J gets away with the alterations she’s made to her school uniform.
  • Drink when Blair cries.
  • Drink when Lily mentions her misspent youth.
  • Drink when Chuck is hot

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Hungover Sunday: Our Week of Internets

More birthdays, more cake! One may or may not have been shaped as a penis and decorated with three different colors of frosting. It might have been baked by Mars, but that cannot be confirmed or denied.

It was doppelgänger week on Facebook, which involves changing your profile picture to one of a celebrity that you’ve been told (or just vainly believe) that you resemble. Here are ours:

Marple                           Mars

Mars has been kept busy by:

  • This adorable office kitteh makes me want to move back to Japan
  • I didn’t mean to stick to the Russian pop scene, but Nadeea showed up at the Grammys and let me know that she existed and I’m glad she did. Otherwise I would never have known that she is “already an icon”, as her website states. Also, I felt that the music world had been neglecting polar bears, but thankfully, Nadeea knows that they “want to suck on icy potions” and “never get eviction notices”.
  • The games on the [adult swim] website are super distracting, and also, awesome.
  • A Penny Arcade comic involving unicorns has been squee-ed over all week, it might get laminated.
  • Side note: this is the most incredible and delicious discovery EVER

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Take my picture Hollywood. I wanna be a STAR!

So, I watched the Grammys last night, as you can probably tell from all the spamming I did in our Twitterfeed, and I was struck by two things.

One, I am apparently shockingly out of touch with pop culture (which, y’know, is a bit of a disadvantage when you blog about it, but I think I’m going choose to think of it as being selective). I don’t have MTV and I don’t listen to the radio. EVER. I mean, I was aware of a lot of people there, but only in an abstract manner. Like for instance, I know that The Jonas Brothers are popular with tweens and that they have promise rings, but I couldn’t pick them out of a line up or tell you what songs they’ve made. I’m perfectly fine with not knowing this, but still. What I’m really confused about is who the hell this Kesha person is, and why does she look drunk all the time?

I probably don’t want to know that either, to be honest. But I think this is a perfectly good example of how modern media in general and the internet in particular allows us to pick and choose more freely what television and music we want to consume. Mars wrote something similar earlier on the subject of news, but I think the same can be applied to television and music as well.

Although I must admit, the whole reason for this entry was Lady Gaga’s performance. Seriously you guys. Holy shit. I have so much to say about this, but I don’t think I have the words, so just watch it.

Okay, so maybe I have one word. EPIC.

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Hungover Sunday: Our Week of Internets

This week has been mad busy, with reorganizing, working and so many birthdays. Which of course means, we’ve been stuffing ourselves with CAKE.

This is what Mars has been up to, apart from eating cake:

  • I got this sms from Marple in the beginning of the week, so it’s safe to say that we have both taken our Zachary Quinto obsession to an exciting new level. A level involving Tori Spelling.

  • Damn you, Pop Cap Games! You have ensnared me yet again, this time with the game Plants vs. Zombies
  • Oh Russia. You have such amazing pop stars.

Marple has realised two things this week. The first is that she only likes cake in theory and the second is that the internet is full of amazing and brilliant things. Okay, so she probably knew at least one of these things before now, but here’s a few reasons why the latter is true:

  • Tumblr! I’ve only been tumblr-lurking up until now, but I went and got myself an account. Find me here.
  • THE BEST SITE EVER.
  • Yes, omg! A collection of semi-trashy gothic book covers! On a suitingly black/red layout that’s like a classier, grown up version of goth poetry webpages on Geocities and Angelfire from the late nineties-early noughties.
  • Combining the awesomeness of William Shatner & Tumbler: Fuck Yeah! William Shatner!
  • In the style of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, here’s Gone with the Wind with Vampires:
  • Last but not least, Top 100 Cheesiest Film Quotes. To the surprise of no one half of them are spoken by Nicholas Cage and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Weekend Wackaloo: Beverage Edition.

Photograph by Weegee.

Are you uninspired by your usual selection of beverages? Do not fear, gentle reader, we are here to help. Drunken philantropy, that’s what we do.

The Reliable Choice:

Box of Red Wine

This is one of our personal favorites. You can’t really go wrong with it, because it’s a beverage in a box. BiaB. Say it. Say it now, and then say it after you drink the box. HOURS OF FUN. Marple is less discriminate and would like to add that white wine works as well and even gets bonus points for the alliteration possibilities.

The Other Reliable Choice:

Beer

Beer is also fun, although the cleaning can be more annoying than with the BiaB. No matter how you go about it you’ll still have tons bottles and cans to clean up, and then there’s the fancy beer drinkers who simply MUST have a glass. You could just get a keg, but those are heavy. The upside of beer is that you don’t have to mix it with anything, nor should you. And there are just so many choices, but that could either be fun or just stressfull. So in conclusion, beer is good but you might have more to clear up later.

The Adventureous Choice:

Gin & Tonic

This may seem like another relaible one, and in a way it is. But Mars drank it when she was out safarii-ing in Africa, which counts as an adventure. What also counts as an adventure is dealing with the both of us after we’ve had a few.

The Trekkie Choice:

Something Old or Something Blue

Well, while there is a handful of cocktails made with Star Trek as inspiration, I think I’d like to go with Sandra Lee on this one and keep it simple, keep it sweet and keep it semi home made. Which is basically putting Hypnotiq in a glass with ice and blueberries. Now, I can’t vouch for the taste personally, but it’s blue. And you know what? So’s frakking Romulan Ale and that shit’s so awesome it’s illegal. An alternative could be scotch. Because you know who loves scotch?

Damn right you do!

The Black & White Movie Choice:

I don’t want to make trouble. All I want is a drink.

If there’s something Marple loves as much as she loves Trek and sci-fi, it’s black and white Hollywood films. And what goes better with Bette Davies in Jezebel than a Mint Julep? Nothing gets you ready for your close up like a whiskey based drink. Or just straight up whiskey!

Although Margo Channing would probably suggest a Dry Martini (very dry), and you don’t mess with Margo Channing.

The Dude’s Choice:

White Russian

Be sure to wear your bathrobe when you drink this, and don’t forget to say fuck a lot. Also, pretend to be in a bowling alley as much as possible. If you are actually in a bowling alley, be careful not to blow your own mind.

The Fancy Choice:

Champagne, Champagne, Champagne.

So fun, so refreshing, so very good yet so deceptivly evil the morning after. And it makes Marple Disney Princess drunk, which basically means she will most likely end up singing to small furry animals.

We would like to add, as a final caveat, that no matter what you drink, do it responsibly. There’s nothing classy or awesome about passing out in your own vomit and we’d like to think that if you’re here reading our blog you’re way too smart to even think about drinking and driving.

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Hungover Sunday: Our Week of Internets

We were supposed to put this up yesterday, but we were too busy eating pancakes, cake and bacon. Instead you get this today, to sneakily read on your coffee breaks at work.
 
This week, Mars has been devoting her time to:
  • Getting the hang of Twitter. My main disovery is how much fun it is to read Tyra’s tweets. There are no words to describe this woman. She amuses me so much, except when she acts like she’s the new Oprah. Then she just frightens me.
  • Continuing my fight against tights as pants. *ahem*, THEY ARE NOT PANTS. My friend linked this to me on facebook, and I have spent the week in a state of flabbergastation (it’s a word now, deal with it). Do people think that pants are shoes as well as pants? THEY ARE NEITHER, THEY ARE JUST TIGHTS
  • Saturday was devoted to the couch & Batman, which prompted us to watch Micheal Cain abuse tangerines a few times, as well as forming the Deep Raspy Voice Alliance, whose members include:

Batman, Gob Bluth, Jack Donaghy, Dr. Girlfriend

And this is what Marple has been up to:

  • I don’t even know how or why someone thought to combine these elements. But I love it. It’s like someone went inside my brain and made a youtube video of it.
  • Another one! But with Bring it On! instead.
  • Being absolutely baffled and bewildered by JLH’s confession that she bedazzles her vagina. It’s just. Oh, god. I don’t even know. Is she doing this on purpose to make my brain bleed? What is this I don’t even.
  • That last thing has had me staring at walls in confusion, trying to grasp at understanding, but inevitably failing. So I haven’t really been doing anything memorable on the internet this week. And if I did, it’s been overshadowed by JLH’s bedazzled lady bits.

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Top Tips for Lazy People

I am, for lack of a better word, lazy. At least when it comes to things that I realise are unnecessarily time consuming.

One of those things are what beauty editors everywhere call a beauty regime. It’s a pretty silly term if you ask me. Don’t get me wrong, I like make up and pretty things and sometimes I do spend a bit too much on lotions and potions, but I don’t get why it should all have to take up so much time. Sometimes, I’d much rather sleep in or watch something ridiculous on television or do a little dance instead.

Which is why I love that there are so many products devoted to making you look bright eyed and bushy tailed and smelling like roses in an instant, even if you did just stumble into work after a night of partying and very little sleep. Or maybe you just stayed up all night revising or you accidentally got sucked into watching reruns of some terrible 90s TV show or you just couldn’t sleep? Or you might just want to get on with your day without all the fuss. Well, here’s my top tips and quick fixes for when you’re in a rush or just plain lazy.

They are only bad hair days if you care.
I haven’t had a proper bad hair day in ages. This is not down to dumb luck, some magical product or bargains with a devil. It’s just down to not stressing out about it. It’s just hair and it grows on your head to keep it warm. But there are a few tricks that have come in handy.

I have long, curly and most of all messy hair that takes forever to wash and dry (not to mention the time it takes to untangle). So dry shampoo is probably the best thing to happen to me. It saves me not having to wash it too often (which is bad for the hair anyway) and it saves me the time it takes to wash it. Add to that a plethora of hats and scarves and you’re sorted.

The second best thing to happen to my hair is Lee Stafford’s R U Taking Protection from Partying and Smokey Nights. That’s an incredibly dumb sounding name for a hair product, I know, but it’s actually more clever than it sounds. Because, despite smoking bans, your hair is probably going to end up smelling a bit funky when you go out and this crazy spritz counteracts that morning after ash tray smell in your hair. It’s especially usefull if you’re seventeen and trying to hide the fact that you smoke from your parents or if you’re walk of shame-ing it straight to work.

Face the facts.
If you’ve got make up on, you need to take it off before you go to bed. You’ll only wake up feeling like you passed out in the middle of a children’s birthday party with face paint on. L’Oreal makes this face wash that’s specifically for removing make up (and I’m sure other brands do too). So there’s no need to fuss with a billion different lotions and potions and toners and what nots before you go to bed. Just wash it off, slap some face cream on and pass out. I swear it only takes like five minutes. And that’s five minutes you wont have to furiously scrub make up in the morning, only to put it back on again five minutes later (which will just lead to bad skin days, because those do exist).

A little goes a long way.
You know those days when you look in the mirror in the morning and think that maybe the zombie apocalypse isn’t so far away? Well, you don’t need to take a nap to rival Rip Van Winkle’s to make that go away (even if it does sound tempting, naps are awesome after all). Good make up is like a real life photoshop for your face. But just like with photoshop, you’ll end up looking like you’re wearing a plastic mask if you overdo it. Find out what works for you and stick with it (but don’t be afraid to be creative when the mood strikes).

A light eyeshadow when applied at the corner of your eyes or a cream coloured eye pen on the inside of your lower lash line will make you look more bright eyed and awake. Although the latter is a bit risky if you wake up with hangover shaky hands. Blusher will also add to this effect. But don’t underestimate the power of a smile. My best trick for looking awake? Blasting some sugary and upbeat 60s pop when I wake up. Like this happy toon.


Although do be aware that your smile might end up verging on crazy if you start your day with this.

Photo source.

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